There’s Gold In Them There Bills

Whilst conducting this week’s scavenge at the big yellow comestibles shop, I noticed that the previous user of my trolley had chosen to discard the fuel docket they had earned through purchasing the weight of a fat child in fish. Or so the accompanying receipt said anyway.

And that is pretty strange because I’ve always been led to believe that fish was good for the brain. Clearly the binge pescatarianism that this shopper indulged in was doing so much damage to their little grey cells that it no longer occurred to them that throwing money away was a bad idea.

Admittedly, on the surface I can understand that people might not see too many reasons to get excited over 6 cents a litre, particularly when 91 octane petrol is now averaging around $2.12/litre, but a little bit of man maths can make for some interesting reading.

Not just a docket, a ticket to ride

For the purposes of the exercise, we will assume that you are Johnny average who knocks around in a Corolla which, for 14,000km every year, averages 10litres/100km. This means you will guzzle up a total of 1400 litres of petrol, which will set you back a grand total of $2968 at $2.12/litre.

However, if you’d employed the discount dockets and saved your 6 cents, you would only have spent $2884 – a saving of $84.

Now I’m not for one moment suggesting that this act alone will enable you to be the next occupant of Dotcom Towers once the FBI has had its way and prised the geeky Lord of the Pies from the sweaty paws of our judicial system, however for the average chap (or chapess) on the street, it’s still not to be sniffed at.

Shop at the right time and $84 will buy you several packs of very decent beer or treat you and the love of your life to a nice meal out. Surely either of these things is worth putting a scrap of paper in your wallet for each week? Or perhaps if you want to improve your insight into all things automotive, you’re suddenly only $5 away from a yearly subscription to a quality motoring magazine.

Still not convinced? Right, well try this. Back in Johnny average world your daily distance travelled is just over 38km which will cost you $8.06; so starting first thing on Monday morning, every time you go for a drive say to yourself ‘I didn’t have to pay for this petrol’. And you’re only allowed to stop at 10am on Thursday 16th February. If you can accomplish this and not feel the slightest twinge from your bank balance then you’re either doing very well in life – in which case, congratulations – or simply aren’t too bright.

Needless to say, I pocketed the docket and it currently has pride of place on my fridge, ready for next week when the Mercedes’ inexorable thirst will once again need quenching. From my rudimentary calculations, I stand to save in the region of $2.15, which will get me from Grimley Towers all the way to the Victoria Park flyover.

So while it won’t make the rush hour traffic any better, on Tuesday at least, I won’t be paying for the privilege of queuing.

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