Mince and Cheese pies – more dangerous than texting

Mince and Cheese pies – more dangerous than texting

“Take the wheel for a bit, mate” a friend once demanded, so I did and as we made our way along open roads I remember thinking how unnatural and unnerving it feels to steer a moving car from the passenger seat. A hot mince and cheese pie was the reason I was in control of the car, my friend wanted to drive but he also wanted to eat. A Big Ben pie requires special attention for a few reasons but none more than the vulnerable area on a man’s body that lays directly beneath its hot filling. So it was practically my duty to steer the car as it was probably the safest thing to do in the circumstances which made me wonder if it’s actually illegal. I mean a lot is being said in the media at the moment about texting while driving but surprisingly little has been mentioned about consuming hot pies while relying on a passenger to steer while…driving. Cold pies may be o.k because they don’t impose such an immediate danger except cold pies could make you throw up on the windscreen which would be even more dangerous. A call to the Land Transport Safety Authority could clear this all up, but it may also result in the banning of Big Ben pies at petrol stations and incur the wrath of drunken 2AM pie purchasers, so best play it safe and keep quiet.

What jogged my memory of this particular mince and cheese pie related incident was a recent report by an American insurance company of the 10 most dangerous foods to eat while driving. Their findings are:

Coffee. Even with a travel lid, hot coffee can find its way out of the opening when you hit a bump.
Hot soup. Many people drink it like coffee and run the same risks.
Tacos. Any food that can disassemble itself will leave your car looking like a salad bar.
Chili dogs. Huge potential for drips and slops down the front of clothing.
Hamburgers. From the grease to the toppings, it could end up on your hands and the steering wheel.
Ribs and wings. What’s more distracting than licking your fingers?
Fried chicken. More greasy hands. You’ve got to wipe them off while you’re driving.
Jelly donuts. It’s not possible to eat one without watching the center ooze out.
Soft Drinks Carbonation. Fizz in the nose. Lids that leak. Disaster.
Chocolate. Try to clean melted chocolate off the steering wheel without swerving.

A fair evaluation, perhaps. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone eating ribs while driving but who am I to judge. Only thing is they forgot the most dangerous food by far the mince and cheese pie. So I decided to create a list of the five most dangerous kiwi foods to eat while driving:

K-Bars. Frustrating and difficult to consume at the best of times and teeth breaking could easily put a driver off.
Burger Rings. The temptation to clown around by putting them on your fingers is too strong and may cause steering issues.
Trumpet Ice Creams. Chocolate always breaks off the top and will distract as you clean it off your pants
Cheese Toasties. Filling is often hotter than expected and the steam that’s released from the first bite could fog up glasses or the windscreen
Hot pies. Temperature unknown, flakey pastry, unidentifiable contents, there are numerous reasons it is the most dangerous food to eat while driving.

So there we have it, knowledge is king and now you’re aware of what foods to watch out for. Some killjoys might tell you to just pull over and stop driving if you’re eating but we all know that just isn’t the kiwi way.

“Take the wheel for a bit, mate” a friend once demanded, so I did and as we made our way along open roads I remember thinking how unnatural and unnerving it feels to steer a moving car from the passenger seat. A hot mince and cheese pie was the reason I was in control of the car, my friend wanted to drive but he also wanted to eat. A Big Ben pie requires special attention for a few reasons but none more than the vulnerable area on a man’s body that lays directly beneath its hot filling. So it was practically my duty to steer the car as it was probably the safest thing to do in the circumstances which made me wonder if it’s actually illegal. I mean a lot is being said in the media at the moment about texting while driving but surprisingly little has been mentioned about consuming hot pies while relying on a passenger to steer while…driving. Cold pies may be o.k because they don’t impose such an immediate danger except cold pies could make you throw up on the windscreen which would be even more dangerous. A call to the Land Transport Safety Authority could clear this all up, but it may also result in the banning of Big Ben pies at petrol stations and incur the wrath of drunken 2AM pie purchasers, so best play it safe and keep quiet.

What jogged my memory of this particular mince and cheese pie related incident was a recent report by an American insurance company of the 10 most dangerous foods to eat while driving. Their findings are:

Coffee. Even with a travel lid, hot coffee can find its way out of the opening when you hit a bump.
Hot soup. Many people drink it like coffee and run the same risks.
Tacos. Any food that can disassemble itself will leave your car looking like a salad bar.
Chili dogs. Huge potential for drips and slops down the front of clothing.
Hamburgers. From the grease to the toppings, it could end up on your hands and the steering wheel.
Ribs and wings. What’s more distracting than licking your fingers?
Fried chicken. More greasy hands. You’ve got to wipe them off while you’re driving.
Jelly donuts. It’s not possible to eat one without watching the center ooze out.
Soft Drinks Carbonation. Fizz in the nose. Lids that leak. Disaster.
Chocolate. Try to clean melted chocolate off the steering wheel without swerving.

A fair evaluation, perhaps. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone eating ribs while driving but who am I to judge. Only thing is they forgot the most dangerous food by far the mince and cheese pie. So I decided to create a list of the five most dangerous kiwi foods to eat while driving:

K-Bars. Frustrating and difficult to consume at the best of times and teeth breaking could easily put a driver off.
Burger Rings. The temptation to clown around by putting them on your fingers is too strong and may cause steering issues.
Trumpet Ice Creams. Chocolate always breaks off the top and will distract as you clean it off your pants
Cheese Toasties. Filling is often hotter than expected and the steam that’s released from the first bite could fog up glasses or the windscreen
Hot pies. Temperature unknown, flakey pastry, unidentifiable contents, there are numerous reasons it is the most dangerous food to eat while driving.

So there we have it, knowledge is king and now you’re aware of what foods to watch out for. Some killjoys might tell you to just pull over and stop driving if you’re eating but we all know that just isn’t the kiwi way.

« | »

Let us know what you think

Loading Facebook Comments ...

Road Tests

Silver Sponsors

Car and SUV Team

Richard-Edwards-2016Richard Edwards

Managing editor

linkedinphotoDarren Cottingham

Motoring writer

robertbarry-headRobert Barry

Chief reporter

Ian-Ferguson-6Ian Ferguson

Advertising Consultant

debDeborah Baxter

Operations Manager

RSS Latest News from Autotalk

RSS Latest News from Dieseltalk

Read previous post:
Ford may replace spark plugs with lasers

There is an exciting new technology afoot that may make vehicle starting issues or misfiring a thing of the past....

Close