I’ll have mine in melanoma brown please

My Dad had a brown Cortina when I was a wee lad. At that time, brown was a fairly fashionable colour, but it had its day. Nowadays brown wouldn’t be called brown, especially not the rich earthy tone of Dad’s Ford. Today, names have to imply the colour and manufacturers try to outdo one another with how abstract they can be while preserving some semblance of sensibility- onyx is black, camela is dark red, and so on. Eventually we’ll run out of nice, friendly terms for colours and will have to go where no car manufacturer wants to: illness and disease. It’s true that these provide a wealth of hues and shades with which to play with. Let me explain with some sample names.

Cataract (white)

Contusion (dark blue)

Jaundice (yellow)

Conjunctivitis (red)

Gangrene (black)

But I’ll have mine in Melanoma – brown is coming back in style.

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