Herne Bay joggers and their death wish

Herne Bay joggers and their death wish

I just moved to Herne Bay. I like it. Most of all I like that it’s less than 3 minutes’ drive to work. But there’s one thing that makes the journey fraught with danger: Herne Bay joggers. I’ve lived all over Auckland and I’ve never known so many people just randomly jog out into the road or an intersection without even looking. That would never happen in West Auckland for fear of becoming the newest hood ornament on a Valiant.

Herne Bay is a relatively wealthy suburb, so I’ve come up with several theories for why this should happen:

1) Herne Bay joggers assume they’ll be hit by Herne Bay residents who mostly are insured and own cars with fairly good pedestrian crash ratings (perhaps except for some of the larger SUVs)

2) Herne Bay joggers are mostly women (my observation) and while it’s well-known that women are smarter than men and better in almost every way, it’s proven that spatial awareness isn’t one of them

3) Herne Bay joggers just don’t care – they have life insurance, they’re financially secure – what does a case of paralysis matter?

3a) The opposite to 3 – Herne Bay joggers are mortgaged to the hilt in hugely expensive houses, have excessive consumer debt from enormous flat-screen TVs and tacky jewellery, and have a secret death wish.

4) Herne Bay joggers think they’re better than everyone else, and motorists should stop to let them past – after all, the road is the same colour as the pavement, so it’s just an ‘extension’ of the ‘pavement territory’, right?

5) Herne Bay is fashionable, and therefore people must keep up with the Joneses, therefore the continuation of jogging is more important than the interruption of stopping, lest they don’t quite burn enough calories.

Perhaps all of these are wrong. Perhaps all of these are right. Really, I just want people to be more careful because I don’t want to be scraping the residue of expensive trainers and shattered iPods out of my grille.

I just moved to Herne Bay. I like it. Most of all I like that it’s less than 3 minutes’ drive to work. But there’s one thing that makes the journey fraught with danger: Herne Bay joggers. I’ve lived all over Auckland and I’ve never known so many people just randomly jog out into the road or an intersection without even looking. That would never happen in West Auckland for fear of becoming the newest hood ornament on a Valiant.

Herne Bay is a relatively wealthy suburb, so I’ve come up with several theories for why this should happen:

1) Herne Bay joggers assume they’ll be hit by Herne Bay residents who mostly are insured and own cars with fairly good pedestrian crash ratings (perhaps except for some of the larger SUVs)

2) Herne Bay joggers are mostly women (my observation) and while it’s well-known that women are smarter than men and better in almost every way, it’s proven that spatial awareness isn’t one of them

3) Herne Bay joggers just don’t care – they have life insurance, they’re financially secure – what does a case of paralysis matter?

3a) The opposite to 3 – Herne Bay joggers are mortgaged to the hilt in hugely expensive houses, have excessive consumer debt from enormous flat-screen TVs and tacky jewellery, and have a secret death wish.

4) Herne Bay joggers think they’re better than everyone else, and motorists should stop to let them past – after all, the road is the same colour as the pavement, so it’s just an ‘extension’ of the ‘pavement territory’, right?

5) Herne Bay is fashionable, and therefore people must keep up with the Joneses, therefore the continuation of jogging is more important than the interruption of stopping, lest they don’t quite burn enough calories.

Perhaps all of these are wrong. Perhaps all of these are right. Really, I just want people to be more careful because I don’t want to be scraping the residue of expensive trainers and shattered iPods out of my grille.

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