Gold Medal In Dartz

Gold Medal In Dartz

If I’m being brutally honest, I’ve not really been looking forward to putting fingers to keyboard this week. Because the entire world – barring Australia for some inexplicable reason – has gone Olympic gaga, as a blogger I am somewhat duty bound to find another incredibly tenuous link between the worlds of sport and motoring, then bang on for five hundred words or so.

And that really wouldn’t be very difficult, given that a decent proportion of the commentary so far has been made up with phraseology that is pretty interchangeable between the two subjects. In fact you’d struggle to let an event go by without one athlete or another being described as ‘a good runner’, ‘moving up through the gears’ or having ‘a decent engine’.

The problem is, even by the somewhat leftfield standards set in this little corner of internetland it all seems a bit forced. Yes, Usain Bolt may have scorched to a second consecutive 100m title in the manner of any given supercar, but somehow it would have trivialised the subject. This is a motoring column after all and what is really needed is some genuine, honest news about cars.

So step forward Dartz.

Long term followers of the Car & SUV website will be familiar with Dartz, the wildly eccentric Latvian manufacturer of armoured personnel carriers masquerading loosely as personal transport. They have firmly established themselves as serious favourites of ours thanks to the endearing way that they embrace opportunities other manufacturers mysteriously miss. Things like trimming their vehicles in whale foreskin or offering a ‘Ladies.Only’ model that comes complete with such essential driving accessories as a bottle of very expensive vodka and bespoke female pleasure device.

And for the privilege of parking your backside on the remnants of a sea mammals todger, safe in the knowledge that the vehicle surrounding you will repel an attack from rocket propelled grenades, Dartz will charge you well in excess of NZ$1 million dollars. When I last checked, this is a lot.

Can you think of a better Latvian car?

Given that there is still a touch of recession hanging in the air, it seems Dartz have realised that it may be a smart move to add an economy model to the range. The Nagel Dakar – named after the Russian driver Andrew Nagel who managed an almost-impressive 2nd place finish in the 1912 Monte Carlo rally – with its conservative 5.5 litre AMG-sourced V8, slots in neatly below the 8.1 litre, range topping Prombron. With a projected price tag in the ball park of NZ$400,000 we’re still not talking about loose change, but by the standards of Dartz, it can be considered a cap doffed in the general direction of sagacity.

Fortunately Dartz have decided to prove that they aren’t losing their madly magic touch and have pitched their baby in an entirely new market segment. Despite the promising engine and athletic styling, being sold as an SUV was never going to be good enough for the Latvian masters of lunacy, so it gives me great pleasure to introduce the world’s first BNUDS.

Standing for bespoke, noble, urban, desert and safety, it’s an acronym that drags the Nagel Dakar right back into the usual realm of the bizarre and presents motoring journalists with the previously unexpected challenge of quantifying the nobility levels of any future vehicles aiming to slot into this niche. But with only ten examples due to hit the roads worldwide in the first twelve months of sales, it might be a while before we get a chance to taste the madness here in New Zealand.

Although on the bright side, while the Olympic sports will be over by this time next week, it means we still have the Dartz to look forward to.

If I’m being brutally honest, I’ve not really been looking forward to putting fingers to keyboard this week. Because the entire world – barring Australia for some inexplicable reason – has gone Olympic gaga, as a blogger I am somewhat duty bound to find another incredibly tenuous link between the worlds of sport and motoring, then bang on for five hundred words or so.

And that really wouldn’t be very difficult, given that a decent proportion of the commentary so far has been made up with phraseology that is pretty interchangeable between the two subjects. In fact you’d struggle to let an event go by without one athlete or another being described as ‘a good runner’, ‘moving up through the gears’ or having ‘a decent engine’.

The problem is, even by the somewhat leftfield standards set in this little corner of internetland it all seems a bit forced. Yes, Usain Bolt may have scorched to a second consecutive 100m title in the manner of any given supercar, but somehow it would have trivialised the subject. This is a motoring column after all and what is really needed is some genuine, honest news about cars.

So step forward Dartz.

Long term followers of the Car & SUV website will be familiar with Dartz, the wildly eccentric Latvian manufacturer of armoured personnel carriers masquerading loosely as personal transport. They have firmly established themselves as serious favourites of ours thanks to the endearing way that they embrace opportunities other manufacturers mysteriously miss. Things like trimming their vehicles in whale foreskin or offering a ‘Ladies.Only’ model that comes complete with such essential driving accessories as a bottle of very expensive vodka and bespoke female pleasure device.

And for the privilege of parking your backside on the remnants of a sea mammals todger, safe in the knowledge that the vehicle surrounding you will repel an attack from rocket propelled grenades, Dartz will charge you well in excess of NZ$1 million dollars. When I last checked, this is a lot.

Can you think of a better Latvian car?

Given that there is still a touch of recession hanging in the air, it seems Dartz have realised that it may be a smart move to add an economy model to the range. The Nagel Dakar – named after the Russian driver Andrew Nagel who managed an almost-impressive 2nd place finish in the 1912 Monte Carlo rally – with its conservative 5.5 litre AMG-sourced V8, slots in neatly below the 8.1 litre, range topping Prombron. With a projected price tag in the ball park of NZ$400,000 we’re still not talking about loose change, but by the standards of Dartz, it can be considered a cap doffed in the general direction of sagacity.

Fortunately Dartz have decided to prove that they aren’t losing their madly magic touch and have pitched their baby in an entirely new market segment. Despite the promising engine and athletic styling, being sold as an SUV was never going to be good enough for the Latvian masters of lunacy, so it gives me great pleasure to introduce the world’s first BNUDS.

Standing for bespoke, noble, urban, desert and safety, it’s an acronym that drags the Nagel Dakar right back into the usual realm of the bizarre and presents motoring journalists with the previously unexpected challenge of quantifying the nobility levels of any future vehicles aiming to slot into this niche. But with only ten examples due to hit the roads worldwide in the first twelve months of sales, it might be a while before we get a chance to taste the madness here in New Zealand.

Although on the bright side, while the Olympic sports will be over by this time next week, it means we still have the Dartz to look forward to.

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