Baby it wasn’t my fault – it was unintended acceleration

Baby it wasn’t my fault – it was unintended acceleration

If you’ve been reading the car news recently it’s all coming up Toyota and not for the right reasons. The World’s largest carmaker is in the middle of the biggest car recall in automotive history and one of the issues is a little thing called unintended acceleration.

While the idea of your sweet ride and its occupants hurtling towards something solid with no warning is no joke, it now seems unintended acceleration is becoming a useful excuse.

If you own a late model vehicle that is part of the global recall, Toyota will be telling you to go to your nearest dealership and get it sorted out haste. But why let the safety of you and your family get in the way of some old fashioned revenge. Now is the perfect opportunity to drive your car straight into your noisy neighbours living room or run over that dog that’s always barking during the night, and the best part is you have an alibi.

An American man recently made the most of his late-model recalled Toyota. He found out about the impending Toyota recall and decided to return his recently purchased vehicle instead in an attempt to get a refund. The dealership he bought it from weren’t playing ball on that idea and offered to do the standard repair instead. The dealership manager had to explain to the owner three separate times he couldn’t get his money back. On the very same day, the angry Toyota owner was driving back to the dealership to argue further when the vehicle in question suddenly experienced unintended acceleration right outside the dealership and rammed straight through the front glass. What an uncanny coincidence and strangely that’s the way the local cops are seeing it too.  When a car manufacturer has admitted a vehicle may have a specific fault how can you argue.

But why stop with cars, the concept of unintended acceleration is a simple multi-purpose excuse for many things and could easily become the new ‘I was so drunk’.

For example, let’s say your girlfriend sees you on a date with another woman. You’re never going to get out of that are you? Hell yes you are! Just explain that you were out with mates a week ago and a girl approached you, after some polite small talk you were just about to tell her that you already had a lovely girlfriend and then BAM! Unintended acceleration struck. Next thing you had her phone number was sending flirtatious text messages and had organised a date.

After the explanation you should congratulate your girlfriend on being a great handbrake and stopping you before things got worse. Naturally, she’ll understand the dangers of unintended acceleration and have sympathy for your frightening little episode.

So next time you’re about to apologise to someone for doing something because you were drunk and stupid, wait a second, and consider if unintended acceleration may be a better excuse choice. If it isn’t and you have access to a late model Toyota, just run them over instead.

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